26 Days Of Halloween 2012: Part 1

Since today is Veteran’s Day and Thanksgiving is next week,I’ve been slagging off for too long to pass up on writing about the horror films I watched throughout October(the month of Halloween 2012),for here goes…

First,a warm-up with three crappy horror films that I watched before October began…

* IN A DARK PLACE: an extremely terrible Straight-To-DVD film adaptation of TURN OF THE SCREW,with the ever talent laden Leelee Sobieski(who looks like she’s spent more time on breast enhancement than developing on her acting skills) as the in-home babysitter of two kids who are terrorized by the ghosts of the previous housekeepers,who soon take over Sobieski’s soul. With pathetic performances,a lesbian scene,and a really dumb grim finale that doesn nothing to spare the film.

* STORMHOUSE: a dopey British film about a young American lass(in alt.rock/grunge attire) who’s recruited by a group of swarmy British government people to communicate with an imprisoned spirit that soon breaks loose and kills eevryone in its path(including a captive Middle Eastern terrorist). With yet another dumb grim finale that does nothing to better the film.

* LOVELY MOLLY: starting with the equally terrible THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT,the filmmaking pair of Eduardo Sanchez and Brad Mycrid have contributed some of the horror genre’s worst films in the Straight-To-DVD department,with Sanchez faring worse with films that make him the successor to Ed Wood’s schlockmesiter general throne via his latest film,a slow moving Ti West-esque ghost story of a newly married lass whose loneiness causes her to have frequent visions of ghostly happenings and hear constant voices from the unknown,as well as drifting back to her severe drug habit,for she is actually seeing the spectres or going insane ? At the super slow pace this film goes and the shoddy direction it takes(story-wise),who the hell cares,since it shows that the likes of Sanchez,Mycrid,and SLAUGHTER DISC’s David Quitmeyer were all actually destined to flip pizza dough,burger patties,and taco shells than making films for a living.

And onto a few October viewings(which I spent 26 days viewing[due to being busy with five days off to doing off-line activities])…

1. YELLOW BRICK ROAD: Bloody Digusting has distributed some really good films(COLD FISH,THE WOMAN) and some major league celluloid crapola such as this cheap looking turkey about a group of young folks looking for a sacred local legend that soon gets them bumped off. Yet another sluggishly slow moving,terrible paced film that I lost instant interest in viewing. Next…

2(.,.3.,4.,5.). DARK SHADOWS: the 1991 short-lived revival TV series that I spent four days viewing,for it was a decent updated series(that creator Dan Curtis produced[and directed the first handful of episodes of]) that sadly wasn’t given much of a chance to find its audience due to both the onbreaking Iraq Gulf War of the same year(that took up most of the TV media news’ endless time schedule) and the second(and final) season of TWIN PEAKS,for it feaured excellent acting turns by Ben Cross(as the new Barnabas),Barbara Steele(returning[after a 10 year hiatus] as Dr. Julia Hoffman),and Lysette Anthony(as Angelique the witch),as well as early supporting roles by Joanna Going(PHANTOMS,KEYS TO TULSA),Adrian Paul(HIGHLANDER:ENDGAME[as Barnabas’ zombified brother Jeremiah]),and (a very young) Joseph Gordon Levitt,as well as surprising amounts of modern gore and see-through t-shirt nudity(provided by Ely Pouget[ENDLESS DESCENT,DEATH MACHINE],as an underused Maggie[who gets possessed by the series’ end{which is left unresolved}]).

5.  SECTOR 7:  3-D lensed Korean monster fest that sports an excellent CGI animated THING-esque monster stalking the compounds of an offshore oil rig and its workers,but is sadly slow paced and doesn’t feature enough monster action(even if it’s a step above the wrecthed like of REPTILIAN).

Part 2 Coming Up…

Steven M.


About stevenmillan

I'm just a simple genre cinema fan(NOT a fanboy and NOT a geek)who widely glimpses onto the latest in cinema news,cinema events,and world news of the day events,and just to warn you(especially if you're one of those politically correct elitists,or strongly despise folks that never brownnose the genre cinema media press):I do sharply bite.
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