Here it is: one of my personal favorite segments of my blog that I always anxiously look forward to on a yearly basis(which started out at MySpace[the now-dead floating on-line corpse that it still is]) and deeply bury the walking failures that plagued the year with their continuous garbage(that endlessly clogged up the media),for without further ramblings,here are 2012’s Top Turkeys…
* Rick Santorum: the uber conservative politician whose far right extremist views on womens rights,abortion,gay rights,and social freedoms brought a new meaning to the word Fascist,for had he won this year’s elections he would have thrown our nation far back into the Dark Ages…or better yet,the Stone Age,for he truly doesn’t hold the title of being The Suckatollah(which goes beyond Ayatollah) for nothing.
* Honey Boo Boo And Her White Trash Family: this morbidly obese trailer trash family has their own cable TV reality series where they plague the weekly airwaves with their garbage that goes on in their boring lives,for it’s bad enough that we have to suffer through another season-after-season of JERSEY SHORE(which is thankfully ending its run) to endure ourselves to watch this televised trash.
* Don Tony/Anthony DeBlasi: the obnoxious,profanity spewing New York-based motormouth carries on his weekly Monday night wrestling podcast(with his co-host Kevin Castle) where he frequently uses every cuss word and the very incorrect gay bashing word “Faggot” every two minutes as he trashes every minor wrestling news story and makes a big hoopla about it,as well as doesn’t take constructive critcism well and trahses anyone who speaks their view against him,is an avid Republican,and also thinks he’s the greatest wrestling dommentator ever. He more of a major league douchebag,an absolute worthless piece-of-shit,and a vulgar piece of trash who I’ll happily wrestle in an ECW/XPW-style wrestling-or-UFC/MMA match if it ever came down to it(since I’m sure he’ll read this and severely trash me on his shitty podcast). Fuck Him !!!!
* Dave Mustaine: two faced metal musician who avidly supports Republicans and campaigned for the Suckatollah Santorum,saying that “he’s a JFK kind of guy” ?!? dave is also a shitty singer and an extremely terrible musician,as well as a super arrogant,holier-than-thou born again Christian person,which the world needs a lot less of.
* Lindsay Lohan: the train wreck that is her drugs,arrests,and troublemaking life continues. I pity that sucker as much as Mr. T does.
* Led Zeppelin: they monstrously kicked up hope for a full-fledged reunion but instead released a film of their 2007 one-night concert and acted like major jerkfaces when reporters asked them eldnlessly about an impending reunion,with singer Robert Plant ripping them down and calling them “Idiots” and “Schmucks”. These musicians are the real Schmucks,for just tell the truth without jerking us fans around and just jump into the hole that you’ve always dug deep for youselves(if no reunion will ever happen[and doubtfully won’t]).
* Director Who Turn Down STAR WARS:EPISODE 7: the likes of Quentin tarantino,Guermillero Del Toro,Steven Spielberg,Zach Snyder,and Brad Bird have all turned down directing the longly awaited Episode 7,for is it because they don’t want to deal with the high expectations of turning in an excellent entry in a mega successful sci-fi franchise/series(as eager as they’d actually would want to direct a STAR WARS film),for there’s a great many minor and low profile filmmakers that would be so eager to jump in the Director’s Chair and do it,and now that Lawrence Kasdan is returning to script Episodes 8 and 9 maybe he’ll be the brave soul that’ll step into that Director’s Chair for the job.
* Reality TV Has-Beens:it sucks how since the 90s that Reality Tv has kileld the chances of aspiring actors and actresses to make it in Hollywood,for just star in a cheap reality series and you’re an instant celebrity,for whether you’re Jon and Kate Gosselin,Heidi and Spencer,or even Puck,you’re still going to suck(no matter what),for just ask Snooki,JWoww,Ronnie,and Mike The Situation about it. This goes out to your on-line folks who do frequent social media posts of yourself and sucky YouTube videos(of gratuitious film reviews) who think you’re celebrities,too.
* Justin Bieber And All Current Music Stars: Bieber Mightily Sucks,as does the likes of Taylor Swift,Chris Brown,Arvil Lavigne,Nickelback,Kanye West,Adele,Ke$ha,One Direction,Rob Thomas,Christina Aguilara,Chris daughtry,Taylor Hicks(Mr. Soul Patrol),Britney Spears,and anyone else you can name,for they and their music are all bland and have no substance,and it’s so sad to see this late 90s trend continuing onward.
* The Filmmakers Of Remakes/Reboots And The Shills Who Mindlessly Support Them: they so many remakes,reboots,and retreads,and so many people shillingly supporting them,for wasn’t the first time good enough and was there any newly discovered unanswered questions that some producer felt needed to be answered ? And don’t you shills have any dignity and pride in fully going out there to discover hidden underrated gems instead of supporting gratuitious remakes just to gain that longly yearned money and official rights to the t-shirts and beer mugs for that very remake,for at least I’ve got my intregity,pride,and dignity strongly worn upon my sleeve without whoring myself out to foolishly support such needless celluloid crapola. At least Alex De La Ignesia proved that he’s still got it as a unique and original filmmaker with his recent film THE LAST CIRCUS(which everyone reading this needs to go seek and watch) without bowing down to doing a unwanted remake.
* 2012 Voters: I’m so extremely disappointed in everyone that voted in this year’s elections,for voting for folks that’ll only offer More Of The Same and a yearn to take our nation and it ever-weakening economy nowhere(and further down the toilet) just for personal interest(such as a good intended but majorly flawed and extremely costly healthcare system),and still continuing to call Mitt Romney an “asshole” and making fun of him even though he lost the election shows how low and mindless people have gotten,for I hope everyone will be happy with the next four years as our nation continues to head nowhere and get even worse(financal and economic-wise).
Otherwise,I’ll just sit back,eat a slice of tukey,and watch upon whether that Mayan End Of The World prediction will come true or not next month.
R.I.P.: Deborah Raffin