Neill Blomkamp Officially Chosen To Direct ALIEN Sequel: The Internet Fanboy Universe Hysterically Cheers

Yesterday,it was reported that DISTRICT 9 and CHAPPIE director Neill Blomkamp has been officially chosen to direct the next ALIEN sequel,via his various scetchboard drawings that he showed to various producers and actors(and actresses) for his idea of an Alien sequel,one that’s an immediate sequel to ALIENS(complete with Michael Biehn’s Hicks).

Needless to say,many of the Internet fanboys and geeks mightily cheered to the point of having orgasms that were close to causing massive bodily explosions(in the vein of the doomed fat guy in STREET TRASH),for while I like the idea of a modern sci-fi filmmakers with unique and creative ideas to bring to the table(something that the HALLOWEEN series sorely needs),I have to briefly play devil’s advocate here in asking just exactly will this sequel be about,since many various rumors are now going around that the sequel will range from being a direct PROMETHEUS sequel to Blomkamp’s ALIENS sequel to an entirely different ALIEN sequel,for whatever the case may be let’s just all strongly hope that it’ll be a damn great sequel that’ll be worthy to the ALIEN series(after being railroaded aside by ALIEN3[which has fans divided,ala EXORCIST 3],ALIEN:RESURRECTION[the ALIENS wannabe mess that it is{with a Joss Whedon ascript}],and the two ALIENS VS. PREDATORS films[which I enjoyed,but has everyone divided).

R.I.P.: actor Louis Jourdan(OCTOPUSSY,SWAMP THING,BBC TV’S COUNT DRACULA)

Steven M.

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HALLOWEEN: RECALIBRATION ; Recalibration ?!?!

Earlier this week came a news story that every horror film website except Fangoria(showing how out-of-touch they are with the times of today) broke news that Malek Akkad announced that a new HALLOWEEN sequel will officially happen,with the scribes of the SAW sequels and THE COLLECTOR(and its sequel THE COLLECTION) handling the scriptwriting chores,with no director yet attached to it.

Wow. After six years since the critical failure of Rob Zombie’s HALLOWEEN 2(H2:THE DEVIL WALKS AMONGST US) and 900 failed attempted projects(including the all-girls-asylum-set 3-D one from the MY BLOODY VALENTINE remake team of Patrick Lussier and Todd Farmer[which got canned before it was to get underway{a year after H2}],and a PG-13 rated affair with Lucy Hale and Brad Dourif) comes news of yet another planned project in the Michael Myers saga,for since the main question here is that will this one finally get off the ground and behind the filming cameras,or is the Michael Myers franchise saga as severely cursed as Part 6’s subtitle THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS slightly suggested,since the films following Part 4(THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS) got increasingly worse than the last,Rob Zombie’s riding on the last two films didn’t make any improvements,and the absolute incompetence of producers Malek Akkad and The Weinstein Brothers(who obtained the series in 1995 after [their glorious maverick] Quentin Tarantino bought the rights for their then-fluent genre films division Dimension Films to handle) who didn’t care about the quality in storytelling and choice of film directors. One thing that really annoys me about the HALLOWEEN series(after 1995) is how they’ve dwelled into widely divided alternate universes without connecting any of the storylines from Carpenter’s first two films(with the first sequel directed by Rick Rosenthal),Part 3(SEASON OF THE WITCH),Parts 4,5,and 6(the Jamie Lloyd trilogy that introduced the genre to [then child actress] Danielle Harris),the Jamie Lee Curtis starring H20:TWENTY YEARS LATER and RESURRECTION,and RZ’s two films,or offering any explainations of what became of the surviving characters from the previous films,therefore adding major confusion to the viewers(something that Paul Naschy’s wolfman films can easily get away with[since his character is timeless and can exist in any time period and alternate universe]),and both Akkad and the Weinsteins not bothering(nor caring) to hire any creative filmmakers with unique and diverse ideas to take Michael Myers places in(such as the possible use of Carpenter’s original intent of an anthology[with Michael in one or two of the tales],ala HELLRAISER[4]:BLOODLINES) and fully explain the connection between all ten HALLOWEEN films. For what everyone just wants is a really damn good HALLOWEEN film that delivers both excellent and innovative storytelling and great chills,something that we’ll never get from its current copyrights owners,for since I looked up the term “recalibration” and learned that it means to create something from the first original work,the only real way that this so-called “recalibration” of the HALLOWEEN series can ever happen is that the likes of a New Line Cinema or a Lionsgate caliber studio needs to wisely buys the copyrights of the HALLOWEEN series off from both Akkad and the Weinstein Brothers and maybe then will we ever see the return of great quality,unique storytelling(since great storytelling is what is one main part of making a really great film),and a true recalibration of the horror series that we all once loved.

So,NBC’s Brian Williams Got Suspended(And Critically Damned) For Exaggerating His Role In A 2003 Iraq War News Story: Ironic How Geraldo Rivera Has Made A Career Out Of Similarly Doing This Type Of Shenanigans For Years And Easily Getting Away With It

Steven M.

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A Whole Lotta Ferbruary Happenings

Well,we’re now into the second week of February,and a lot has already happened…

* A new Sam Raimi produced POLTERGEIST remake has already finished filming and is coming to theaters this Summer,with everyone being fully divided on this one,for nobody has taken notice that regular modern ghost film fixture Lin Shaye isn’t in this film,otherwise between the likes of this redux,the soon-to-film Melissa McCarthy GHOSTBUSTERS remake/reboot,FAST AND FURIOUS 7,and AVENGERS 2, I’d rather shockingly sit through this remake than the other three.

* The other day,not only did someone bring up the fact that a lot of the current in-production remakes are sporting all-female casts,but a very false rumor spread around the Internet early in the week that Emily Blunt was going to be casted as Snake Plissken in that still-in-the-works ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK remake,for I checked all over the ‘Net and found that rumor to be extremely false,otherwise the entire Internet would have gone black for one to two days. Nothing wrong with a female Snake,but Emily Blunt just Isn’t that person for that very role.

* Roman Reigns Haters Suck,for just wait until he turns full blown heel after Wrestlemania 31(and join either Paul Heyman or The Authority) then John Cena hating season will resume.

* I feel major pity for Bruce Jenner,who’s not only slowly changing his sex but has also recently got into a fatal car accident that resulted in one death and a couple of people injured,for while Bruce blames the pursuing paparazzi for this incident we’ve all got to remember that living with both Kris Kardashian(as he has for so long) and his just-as-parasitic son Brody(who followed his Dad that fatal day,and recorded the accident) can do to a person.

* Speaking of on-line fan overreacting upon minor things,the same twits that got heavily upset over Beth’s mid-season death on THE WALKING DEAD and threatened to boycott the show if they didn’t bring her back to life are now up-in-arms over Tyreese the burly black dude’s death on last night’s return episode,for it was a fate that was predicted(and displayed) in the graphic novels(alongside Carol’s and Glenn’s deaths,and Rick’s loss of his right hand) and now those same fools who vow to riot if Norman Reedus’ crossbow carrying redneck badass Daryl makes his maker are now openly livid about the latest character death,for everyone needs to fully know that while I fully understand how much THE WALKING DEAD leaves such a major heartfelt impact on its viewers and fans(because it’s a very good show that’s extremely well-made) they need to know that it’s just a show where every character on it is fair game and expendable,whether they like to hear that or not. Just get over it and except it for the show that it is.

I’m done talking for now,for until next time…

Just Saw The List Of This Year’s Grammy Awards “Winners”: It’s So Pitiful That They Might As Well Have Given Weird Al Yankovic ALL Of The Awards

Steven M.

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New GHOSTBUSTERS Reboot (And Its Defenders) Can Go Suck It !!

Yes,the news broke out that there will be an all-new reboot of GHOSTBUSTERS,but with only an all-female cast led by Melissa McCarthy and Kristin Wiig. While I’ve got no problem with a GHOSTBUSTERS reboot/remake or it having an all-female cast,my complaint here is why did they cast the talent laden and very unfunny Melissa McCarthy amongst three other equally talent laden actresses that’ll likely suck both the interest and life out of this film. I could have lived and dealt with it having either Tina Fey and Amy Poehner or the comedy duo of Seth Rogen and James Franco,but otherwise I’ll just leave it there and trash the defenders of this planned reboot that are severely trashing those that are complaining about the reboot,which is even worse since those defenders are bought and paid for by the corporate studios and their very bosses,whom butts these brownnosing defenders have their heads thrust(and stuck) up in.

Yep: both the new Melissa McCarthy starring GHOSTBUSTERS reboot and all of its defenders can all go Suck It !!!!

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY Is Coming To Nationwide Theaters In Two Weeks: Let’s See Just How Far It’ll Push The Boundaries Of The R Rating(Since They Canned Filming The Novel’s Notorious Tampon Scene [Just To Score That Much Needed MPAA Approved R Rating])

Steven M.

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This Past Week Was Chock Full

As the end of January is nearing this coming Saturday,there’s been quite a few interesting things that have happened in the last few days,mainly two which I’ll cover…

* Clint Eastwood’s latest directorial film,the Chris Kyle biodrama AMERICAN SNIPER(with Bradley Cooper as Kyle) has scored over $200 million in less than two weeks,making that film a mega success early in the year as well as gathering its own share of controversy raging from prickfaces claiming that Chris Kyle was a ruthless cold blooded killer who frequently lied(including claiming that he lied about punching out Jesse Ventura),to the likes of Michael Moore and Seth Rogen saying that U.S. military snipers are cowards. I may be a strong liberal(with a few conservative beliefs) but I am pro-American and I detest those anti-Kyle assholes(who are as loony as those pro-guns[even though everyone has the right to own a gun,as long as they use it correctly and wisely],pro-Republicans/conservatives/Tea Party nutcases) who are trashing Kyle’s good name,since Kyle is an American military hero no matter what in doing a job that most Americans wouldn’t do,and Jesse Ventura is an absolute shitbag who coldly sued Kyle’s widow Taya for millions(and won it[ from a jury full of equal assholes that were in his favor]),for hopefully Jesse will get his comeuppance sooner or (as will those jurors),since Jesse wouldn’t survive(and live through) two minutes in the fighting rings of both the UFC and (the original) ECW,and the way the WWE is so feminist driven now(thanks to Stephanie McMahon placing behinds-the-scenes women in charge) Jesse(nor his smarky attitude) wouldn’t be given a full fledged welcome back to the WWE anytime soon,otherwise the monstrous success of AMERICAN SNIPER both Owns and buries Jesse Ventura. And as far as both Michael Moore and Seth Rogen go,I could care less about what they’re saying since they’ve got the right to say what they want and they are just looking for attention since their careers haven’t fared well lately(with the catastrophe surrounding THE INTERVIEW’s botched release,and the failures of Moore’s recent films).

* Last night’s Royal Rumble Pay-Per-View was the tipping point in massive fan anger against the WWE that started with the company endless burials of Daniel Bryan(despite his triumphs in briefly wearing the WWE title belt) and the expected win of Roman Reigns caused many fans to post throughout the Internet the hashtag #CancelWWENetwork  and literally did both cancel those Network subscriptions and continue to rage out against the WWE,for these folks should know that it was predicted months ago that Reigns was going to win and get the big monster push,Daniel Bryan’s Rumble loss was expected since he’s still recovering from his recent surgery,and yes: the WWE’s many storylines have been truly awful of the last year-and-a-half(such as the bad underusage of Sting,and Brock Lesnar booked in the worst WWE title run since Shane Douglas’ late 90s ECW title run),for people just need to calm down and relax since time does properly work things out and Roman Reigns will eventually turn heel and become a possible Paul Heyman Guy(with Heyman transforming Reigns into a silent Goldberg/Brock-esque indestructible machine) as WrestleMania 31 slowly closes in,otherwise the #CancelWWENetwork movement  sorely needs to go #GetAGoddamnMotherFuckingLife .

That’s it for now…

El Roth Triumphs At This Year’s Sundance Film Festival,As His New Film KNOCK KNOCK(A Thriller With Keanu Reeves) Lands Both Rave Reviews And A Distributor In Lionsgate(Via A $3 Million Acquisition),And His Delayed THE GREEN INFERNO Will Receive Its Theatrical Release This Coming August/September,Making This A Good Year For The Auteur Behind The Failed (Las Vegas-Based) Goretorium

Steven M.

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This Year’s Oscars All White ?! Hold On There A Minute…

In the midst of those rascally trouble making Islamic terrorists causing trouble in France and other European countries(over the criticism of their Islamic idol Mohammed),this year’s Oscar nominations were just recently announced,for the same routine expected nominees and the same many great Oscar worthy performances that were virtually ignored,but the main thing that I noticed was how many people(many who happen to be white) have heavily criticized the Oscars for nominating many white that are white,bringing forth the on-line hashtag #OscarsAreWhite .

Just how can this year’s Oscars be all white when there’s a few black people that are being nominated,most noticeably Oprah Winfrey,who’s up for the Best Picture award for co-producing SELMA,for if both she and SELMA win it’ll turn the Oscars fully black. For I surely don’t want to hear this silly stuff about the Oscars overlooking black people this year when it should instead be about the ones(of every nationality) that got overlooked(after giving their all into their acting and filmmaking that were deservingly Oscar worthy),and yes the Oscars are about as out-of-touch and out for their own special interests as the Fangoria Chainsaw Awards,the Fangoria Hall Of Fame(which inducted Rob Zombie during his first year of filmmaking but virtually ignored Herschell Gordon Lewis[the 80something Godfather Of Gore]),and Jan Wenner’s Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame(which still has an awful lot of musical artists with 25-50+ year careers that are truly deserving of inductions).

And the celebrity passings continue in 2015,as we’ve sadly lost the likes of Rod Taylor,Anita Ekberg,Taylor Negron,genre producer/scriptwriter Brian Clemens,Donna Douglas(BEVERLY HILLBILLIES’ Ellie Mae),filmmaker Francesco Rosi,and Samuel Goldwyn Jr.(the father of actor Tony Goldwyn).

Other than that,I’ll see you all on the next blog entry…

Republican Rep. Joe Walsh(No Relations To Eagles Musician Joe Walsh) Pledges For ISIS To Decapitate The Folks At CNN And MSNBC,For This Major Dumbass Needs To Know That ISIS Doesn’t Discriminate Against Any Political Agenda And That Includes The Fox News Folks,Republicans,Tea Party Members,Conservatives,And Libertarians(Amongst The Liberals,The Folks At HLN,The Independent Party Members,And The Democrats),Since ISIS Hates Everybody That’s Not Into (And Doesn’t Support) Islam (And The Radical Idiots That Kill Those Who Oppose Their Twisted Views)

Steven M.

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2015 Is Here

Well,2015 is finally here and I’m not going to sit here and talk much,other than that I’m not posting any 2014 retrospectives nor and Best And Worst Of lists,since the only three films I really like in 2014 were DELIVER US FROM EVIL(which was a real surprise),THE BUTTERFLY ROOM,and HAUNTER(both super underrated features that never got the fanboy horror news websites love: maybe because they both were actually good),and everything else was basically just Meh !! With the worst film of 2014 being the majorly super overrated X-MEN:DAYS OF FUTURE PAST(and I really love both the X-Men and Wolverine),as super overrated as anything by Rob Zombie,and the Major Disappointments being WOLF CREEK 2(the first one I loved,but this wanted to be such a Rob Zombie wannabe film),THE DEAD 2(great first film,terrible sequel with equally terrible characters),the theatrical ghostly duo of OCUCUS(which at least tried to be different) and Hammer Films’ THE QUIET ONES,and the super sucky finales of both SALEM and AMERICAN HORROR STORY:COVEN,and COVEN’s bad underuse of Kathy Bates,whose immortal and sadistic Ilsa-esque racist villain opened the door for what could have been some great potential storylines,for the Oscar winning Bates could have killed some of the witches,took their powers,and attempted to become the new Supreme,leading to an all-out battle finale between her and the other witches,which instead was used for their climatic duel with The Axeman and Bates was reduced to just being the reluctant sidekick(and [later] victim) for the uber fat black chick from PRECIOUS. And SALEM started off as a super violent take on Salem’s witch trials but soon descended into attempting to make Janet Montgomery as the 21st. Century’s new Jane Badler. Otherwise,TV Horror pretty much dominated 2014 with great turn on Seasons 4 and 5 of THE WALKING DEAD,and the equally superior shows that are PENNY Y DREADFUL,(the sadly short lived) DRACULA, and HANNIBAL(which expands upon a pre-imprisoned Hannibal Lector,with swift plot twists).

Otherwise,the only three films that I’m looking forward to this year are MAD MAX(4):FURY ROAD,PHANTASM(5):RAVAGER,and (of course) STAR WARS:EPISODE 7; THE FORCE AWAKENS(it’ll hopefully be an awful lot better than its ridiculous subtitle,and it’ll hopefully deliver).

That’s it for now…

In Theaters This Friday: THE WOMAN IN BLACK 2: ANGEL OF DEATH; The First Film Was A Big Disappointment,For Hammer Films Will Hopefully Deliver With What Looks Like A Much More Superior Sequel

Steven M.

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